


Jonny's Story

by zibal_01



Series: Hitting Rock Bottom [4]
Category: Original Work, Sport; Ice Hockey
Genre: M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-13
Updated: 2017-02-13
Packaged: 2018-09-24 01:59:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9694787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zibal_01/pseuds/zibal_01





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PurplePitty616161](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PurplePitty616161/gifts).



University of Michigan, September 2009

“… and the final D-pairing, for this practice, will be Jonathan Treloar and Colby Anderson,” Coach Jacobs turned to Jonny.  “Can you take right D?”

“Sure, no problem, coach,” Jonny confirmed.  He glanced across the locker-room to where his new D-partner, Colby Anderson, was sitting.  Colby, hurriedly, looked away.  Jonny was sure that Colby was blushing.

“…he fancies you,” Kasey muttered.

Jonny’s head snapped round to face his twin, “Sorry?  What did you say?”

“I said, I really think that he fancies you,” Kasey repeated.

“Colby?”  Jonny sounded confused.  “Nah, don’t be stupid.  We’re D-partners.  That’s all…”

“Yeah, whatever you say, bro,” Kasey mocked.

The next month followed in a similar vein – Jonny catching Colby staring at him, Colby blushing as he turned away, Kasey teasing Jonny about it.

Present Day

Jonny scrubbed his hands over his face, trying to decide where to go next.  Finally, he decided to find out how much Joe already knew.

“So, what did Colby tell you?” he enquired.

“He told me about his concussion, and post-concussion syndrome…” Joe confirmed.  “And that he had a lot of broken bones and another head injury from the… the incident…”

“Ah, yes.  His concussion,” Jonny shook his head, sadly.  “He always undersells his concussion…”

“What do you mean? Undersells it?”

“Does “Nothing major.  Just a concussion.” ring a bell?” Jonny asked.  Joe nodded.  “Ok.  I’ll tell you what really happened…”

“It was early October 2009.  We were playing for University of Michigan against Michigan State at Ann Arbor.  Third game of the season.  Big rivalry…

“We were 2 – 1 up midway through the second,” Jonny paused, checking his memory, “when Colby want to clear a puck round the boards.

“He was boarded,” Jonny stated bluntly, “well, that was part of it.  They also cross-checked him to the head.  His head smacked off the metal stanchion, between the sheets of plexi-glass, hard enough to shatter his visor…

“The hit from behind was also hard enough to crack his helmet…

“When he crumpled to the ice, silence filled the arena.  You could, seriously, have heard a pin drop,” Jonny fell silent, lost in the memory.  Even thinking about this gave him nightmares.  Talking about it… well, he could forget about sleep for a week.

“Kasey re-acted first, taking the State player down hard.  Colby was flat out on the ice, and players were about to brawl over him…” Silence descended.  Joe waited, not wanting to rush Jonny.

“Colby was my D-partner…” Jonny continued.  “I… I failed to protect him… I remember yelling his name… dropping to my knees beside him… and blood… There was a growing pool of blood coming from under Colby’s head…

“The officials cleared the ice – Kasey and the State player were ejected… the others instructed to return to the bench and stay there.  I refused.  I stayed by Colby’s side, talking to him, even though he was out cold.

“It took thirty minutes to get Colby on to a backboard and off the ice,” Jonny continued.  “He was rushed to the ER and the game continued.”

Jonny lifted his head, making eye contact with Joe, “Colby doesn’t talk about it,” he shook his head, sadly, “says it’s behind him.  Me, I don’t even think that he can remember it.

“The scar on his forehead is from where they had to pick fragments of his visor out of it… he had a contusion on the back of his head, where his helmet had cracked.

“The scans were all clear.  Physically, Colby’s brain was fine, so, I reckon he’s blocking it out.  It was a difficult time for him…”

2009

Kasey was waiting, in the locker-room, for the team after the game.  As soon as Jonny was in arms reach, Kasey pulled him into a tight hug.

“You ok?” Kasey mumbled.

Jonny nodded, breaking the hug to start stripping out of his kit.  It was then, in the silence of the locker-room, that Jonny started to examine his feelings for Colby…

The following month was hectic: practice, travel, games, classes… Jonny realised that he hadn’t had a chance to visit Colby – and it was unlikely that any of their teammates had.  He also realised that he missed having Colby around – and not just as his D-partner.  He missed _Colby_ …

_“Shit,”_ Jonny thought.  _“I really miss him…”_

“Go and talk to him,” Kasey commented.

“Uh,” Jonny replied, unintelligently.

“Colby,” Kasey replied.  “Go and talk to him.  In fact, go and ask him out.”

“What?”

“Seriously, Jonny, ask him out,” Kasey sounded really confident.  “He’ll say yes.”

“Are you sure?” Jonny sounded less than confident.  He always was less confident than Kasey was in affairs of the heart.

“Just go,” Kasey sounded really exasperated; Jonny smiled, then turned and left.

*****

Colby was not in his dorm room.  Jonny stood, with his back to the door, trying to work out where to try next.

“You looking for Colby?”

“Yeah,” Jonny replied, suspicion lacing his tone.

“He had a hospital appointment… You’re on the hockey team, right?”

“Yeah…”

“If you’d been around, you would have known where he was.  Some friends you guys are…”

Jonny was stunned, but it was true.  If he had been around he would have known where Colby was.  In fact, he would probably have gone with him…

Shrugging, Jonny decided that his best option would be to go to the hospital to meet Colby, take him for something to eat after he’d finished there.  It was possibly the worst decision that he had ever made…

Present Day

“I was at the crossing, waiting for the signal to cross, when I spotted Colby,” Jonny’s voice was soft, his features haunted.  “He was on the opposite side, just outside the hospital, standing at the kerb.

“He was looking to his left.  I thought he was waiting for a break in the traffic, but I was wrong,” Jonny shuddered as the memories hit him.  “There was a bus… he just stepped out…

“It was like his injury all over again, except one hundred times worse,” Jonny continued.  “The silence was deafening, then people started screaming.  I… I managed to cross the road, push through the crowd.

“Colby was out cold.  I remember yelling his name as I fell to my knees beside him,” Jonny shook his head.  “All I can remember is the pool of blood forming under his head… and how twisted his body was.”

There was a long silence.  Joe didn’t know what to say, so he waited.  Finally, Jonny continued.

“I visited him whenever I could, but it was difficult.  The medics put him in a coma, to give him a better chance of recovering, but it was touch and go.

“He was under for about six weeks.  When they brought him round, he said he couldn’t remember exactly what had happened, but there was something about his answer that wasn’t right,” Jonny paused.  “He said he hadn’t seen the bus, but he’d been looking straight at it.

“Once we were alone, I told him that I had seen what had happened.  He broke down and admitted that he’d tried to kill himself.  He didn’t tell me anything else – he was still really ill – and I didn’t ask.

“I went back to visit him every day after that,” Jonny advised.  “Coach Jacobs had put me on medical leave.  I wasn’t sleeping, nightmares waking me when I was finally too exhausted to stay awake… I didn’t tell Colby that I had been referred to a shrink – he had enough shit of his own to get through…”

Tears were silently streaming down Jonny’s face.  Neither man had noticed the door opening as Jonny continued.  “After a month or so, Colby told me why he had stepped out in front of that bus,” Jonny’s voice cracked.  He was unable to continue…

“Hey,” a soft voice spoke, as Colby crouched in front of Jonny, cupping his cheek.  Using his thumb to wipe away Jonny’s tears, Colby continued.  “I’m still here… still with you…”  He rose, placing a loving kiss on Jonny’s forehead, before pulling him to his feet and hugging him tightly.  Turning to Joe, Colby spoke softly, “Kasey’s just outside.  I’ll send him in when we leave.  I’m going to take Jonny home now…”


End file.
